Installment #42 in Monolisticle's Ongoing Campaign Against the "Internet of Endless Listicles."
Until recently, I’d never unfriended anyone on social media.
It was partly a matter of politeness. To me, unfriending someone just seemed rude.
But my “no-unfriending policy” was more than just good manners. It was also a philosophical decision. It’s important for me to maintain outside perspectives in my life. Even those outside perspectives I disagree with.
I made one exception to this "no-unfriending" rule. Someone I went to high school with posted what I considered to be a racially-offensive photo as his cover image. He had to go. And I didn’t opt for one of those passive “unfollows.” I flat-out unfriended him.
That one was an easy decision. But what about all the other posts I come across (almost daily) that I disagree with? Or simply find annoying or distasteful?
The temptation is to unfriend, unfollow, delete. After all, those contrary, annoying, and distasteful posts add negativity and stress to our lives. Wouldn’t it be better for our mental health to simply get rid of them?
Yes, it would. Kind of. I’m a big believer in cutting back on social media use in general as an effective way to reduce stress in our lives (I wrote about it here). However, there’s a risk we take when we do that.
The more we delete outside influences, perspectives, and views that differ from ours, the more we fuel our own cultural myopia. Soon our only external influences and voices become more and more narrow. Until they become an exact reflection of our own. Consequently, our worldview grows smaller and smaller—and more radical. Even fanatical. Ever wonder how people with radical and fanatical beliefs get that way? That’s how.
Some people find comfort in a culture of identical opinion. It's hard to blame them. Blindly living in a bubble of shared worldview not only validates their beliefs, but it also relieves stress. This is understandable. But for those of us who wish to remain open-minded and curious people, we need a more nuanced approach.
So what’s the solution? I’m not sure there really is a simple and clear one, honestly. I struggle with it. While on one hand I’m a big believer in eliminating toxic people and environments from one’s life, I also want to maintain an open mind to opposing opinions.
I think the important thing, at the very least, is to simply be aware of the risk, and to try to strike a balance. Eliminate the people from your network whose views are truly toxic. And keep those whom you may disagree with, but who at least maintain a level of civility and respect in sharing those opinions.
Also try to get your news from more than one trusted and reputable source. And be aware of each news source's political bias (pretty much all media companies have political leanings, to put it mildly). In fact, it's sometimes shocking how vastly different the reporting is about the same news event or issue.
One thing I try to do is to triangulate my news from various—and opposing—sources. Somewhere in the middle of that news triangle is the truth, or as close as I'm ever going to get to it.
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